Sunday 8 September 2019 - Reflection of Day One of Foundations in Christian Ministry Course at Marjons - Day one completed. My thoughts are wow what a lot of walking and where was the water.. (oh why didn’t I bring a bottle of water with me…). To get the walking bit out of the way - a few months ago I would not have been able to do it. Losing a bit of weight enabled me to be ‘normal’ just like everyone else.
So Ruth and I arrived at the same time as one of the Vicars and followed him… But why did I decide at that time to Blaspheme? A very mild word - but all the same, not the best way to start. A hang over from my non-Christian days.. But have to say I am getting so much better - this rarely happens now… but yes I choose my moments!
We arrived at the Chapel and then there was noise. Lots of noise… Christian noise and whilst it was somewhat loud it was a happy, friendly, excited noise. A noise of people who belonged - joyful at being amongst each other.
Time for Worship and then to formal classroom based lectures. There was a sense of nervousness and people sussing each other out.. At least I was. It was like entering the unknown. A year ago I was not a Christian, and now I was with people who more than likely had been Christians all their lives, or at least many years. I have worked like crazy during the last 11 months but will I be totally out of my depth?
I was pleasantly surprised at the Theology lecture, I guess because I have been focusing on this and philosophy in my studies at home. However the Bible lecture was hard. I really felt I lacked the in-depth knowledge of the Old Testament. I also know that whilst I feel a familiarity with the Gospels, I really need to learn more about the other books of the New Testament.
I found everyone on the course to be lovely and there was a mixed age range. The organisers and lecturers did everything they could to put everyone at their ease. And everyone seemed very educated…
What would I do differently? Well I felt I had to try to answer questions - maybe this is because I feel insecure in my ability. I need to realise that I don’t need to do this. My ability won’t change just because I answer questions. Also I will dress more as ‘me’. I am a very casual dresser unfortunately and what I wore whilst to others would be casual, to me it was smart - and I did not feel comfortable as it was not ‘me’. So going to go down a notch in terms of casual (but not a scruff..) I will also bring water with me!
A reflection on my reflection. For next time I must write more from my heart. I think my Christianity will develop and maybe change into directions I never imagined. I think by writing it really helps to get to the heart of how we feel and where we should go and I am hoping by regularly writing that this will happen. Often it is hard to see the wood for the trees.